HAPPY PLACE

I recently redecorated my patio. I figured since it had just been painted and looked SO much better then before, I should rid the rusty outdoor chairs & table and replace it with something more "me". I had been eyeing a Crackle Barrel rocker for many years, but thought they were too pricey (130.00), that was until I was at a CB and noticed that this white slatted rocker had been marked down to 97.00. I looked it over and sure it had a few scuffs on the rockers, but nothing that I couldn't paint over. The only catch was that it was a no return policy, but since I had sat in it and looked it over, I didn't think much of it.

I was so giddy with my "savings" that the next day I went to Lowe's to see if I could find a pillow and rubber mat (sometimes the flooring gets wet when it rains diagonally). I found both clearanced out since it is now technically "winter" in some parts of this country (not here as it is 92 degrees today!), and as I was making my way out of the store, I looked over and what do I see? White slatted rockers! Not only were they identical to my Crackle Barrel rocker (minus the CB medallion), they were 70.00!!!! I really didn't care if I had an "official" CB rocker rather just a nice rocker for my porch, but it is what it is, as I never go to Lowe's so I would have never had known they sell them.

I love it out there now. It's my happy place where I can read, meditate, or just simply relax without the buzz of the tv or radio. I can watch canoer's move up and down the river through the opening of trees while rocking back n' forth. The only thing I am missing is a wind chime, then it should be complete.

Where is your happy place?

If I were President

In no particular order:

1. I'd make it mandatory that everyone works part time hours but gets full time pay & benefits. We'd all have jobs and be happier!
2. Pharmaceutical companies would not be allowed to give money towards funding political races, rather towards medical research to rid diseases. Oh wait, they don't want that because that would put them out of business. Fair is fair. So then they must put their millions towards bettering ones community with illegal gun buybacks, feeding the homeless, education, building skating parks & after school programs. Can you imagine how much greatness could come from that!?!?
3. If there is DNA evidence in a murder case and the person is found guilty, they are really striped of all their rights and be put to death. Save the money on appeals and "life in prison" and put that money towards rehabilitation programs for other prisoners.
4. Strict laws on willfully employing illegal immigrants. Shame on you for enabling such behavior! We have a process to work in the US/become a US citizen, my grandfather did it, and if a person is not willing to it the correct way go back to your homeland until you are.
5. Stop tattoo discrimination.
6. Any expecting parent must attend a parenting course.
7. If you don't graduate from high school/achieve a GED you cannot collect government assistance.
8. Prisoners must learn how to take care of themselves. No meals that are not produced from the garden/animals they tend to everyday.
9. If you are on government assistance, you must volunteer a certain amount of your time & services to a charity/organization. Whether it be at a after school program or helping the Red Cross during disasters....this is more meant for the under educated baby makers of the country rather someone who has a legitimate health issue or someone who needs a hand up not a handout.
10. Everyone qualifies for health care.

.......that is if I were President.

Enjoy your FRIDAY!!!!!!

This N' That & That N' This

1. I tend to put the wrong cd in the cover when I am changing out music in the car.
2. Lately, I have found myself somewhat addicted to Emerald's Breakfast Blend Trail Mix.
3. I rarely have the tv/radio on when I am home.
   
4. I am a optimist.
5. I experience anxiety when something on my car breaks down.
6. I work too much but it's gotta get me somewhere one day right?
7. If a large sum of money dropped from the sky my guilty purchase would be a Toyota Tacoma OR a Jeep Wrangler.
8. I miss having a dog. Sometimes I walk past the dog park just to watch other people's dogs play fetch and frolic with other dogs.
9. I am fascinated with old school vintage. I think it oozes a classiness that in this day & age seems misplaced?
10. I am looking forward to spending many a time on my patio reading during these winter months. Summer was too long this year!

A Chapter From The Story Of Lucky

When I was about 15 years old my mother started dating an rarely employed alcoholic who was very influential over her decisions. Around this same time, my sister moved out to start college leaving me to defend for myself.

House rules changed at the drop of a dime mostly without my knowledge hence why I'd find a police officer waiting for me when I returned from school, confirmation class at church, or work. I'd get hauled in or ticketed for being late (as little as 5 minutes. Quote: "well when I said 9pm, I meant be home 15 minutes before 9 o'clock.") on my curfew or when she claimed she didn't know where I was....confirmation class was every Wednesday.

I would get sentenced to 90 days probation and 180 hours of community service time after time without the judge even looking at my record. (I only really deserved it the first time. I made a bad decision while hanging around the wrong crowd. But when my (ex) friends, whom to this day I have only spoken to one of them with in the last few years, got a strict grounding from their parents, I got 3 days in juvenile detention + probation.) I was accused by my mother of causing her TIA and some of my family didn't speak to me for quite some time. Nobody seemed to consider the fact that she was severely obese and financially supporting a lying drunk. And although I am sure being a single parent didn't help matters, I alone surely didn't cause enough stress in her life to cause a mini-stroke.

Then came the bus incident. It was shortly after my knee surgery and I missed the bus after school leaving me to walk about 3-4 miles on icy sidewalks on crutches. This was because when I called home I was told I must have missed the bus on purpose and I better make it home on time. The truth is it was my first day taking the city bus to school. I went to the stop where they dropped me off not realizing they return down the block on the opposite side of the street. I had no way of hobbling over in time when I recognized the bus number in the windshield. On that long walk home tears froze to my face in the winter temps. It was a turning point or sorts. From then on I started relying only on myself for survival.

The light at the end of the tunnel came nearly 2 and a half years later. After countless hours of cleaning up poop in city parks and weekly meetings with my probation officer I was assigned a social worker named Dione.

Dione did a home study and came to the conclusion that I was a normal teenager who somehow survived years of emotional (and sometimes physical) abuse. I had good (enough) grades, didn't do drugs, and any drama that came between my home life and me were caused by two people who seemed not want me around. Not only that, but she questioned why my mother wasn't held responsible for not attending her assigned parenting classes yet I completed every single minute of my sentences. She presented this to the judge but I got no apology, no "we made a mistake", but I also didn't get anymore "time" and looked forward to moving out on my own the day after I turned 18. Sure it was going to be tough. After all, I was still a senior in high school, but working nights at a steakhouse and cleaning homes while achieving my diploma was so worth it. I knew things in that household were not going to change and after I turned 18 any run-ins with the law would end up on my permanent record. Besides, I was told I'd have to pay rent for my room anyways since I was an "adult", so if I was going to pay rent it was going to be for my own place!

I don't know where Dione is now. She came to my college graduation and I think even my wedding if my memory serves me correctly, however, since then we have lost contact. I just hope she knows what she means to me and many other kids she helped in her career. As far as my mother, I had to take a step back to look at where she was coming from, what abuse she too survived as a child, and make the promise to myself the cycle stops here. In doing so, I chose to forgive her (and him) so I could move forward. This simply was a chapter of many chapters in my life story.

The Real "To Do" List

While at Hallmark today I noticed this little wall canvas that had the Real "To Do" List painted on it. Although I did not purchase it I thought I'd share what it said:

Real "To Do" List:

Sing. Hope.
Smile at strangers.
Keep learning.
Notice kindness.
Eat Ice cream.
Count Your Blessings.
Laugh. Love.
Love Some More.....

What's on your real "to do" list?

LABOR DAY 2009

So what does a girl with basic cable, a limited DVD collection, who is caught up on all her reading, and finished chores do on a lazy Labor Day afternoon? I could have gone to the park and sat in the grass just to be eaten alive by red ants in the sweltering heat, or to the over populated beach, but instead I found fun in the ol' pastime of upteen games solitaire! I loved this game as a kid and remember playing it at the Munter Farm while ma and Rene played their favorite card game, (Nerts) and Kenny played a double deck version of Solitaire in the other room.

The Munters were a family that's farm was across the gravel road from a place Tim and ma rented for a short time when I was a babe. Even after moving to the family farm then into town, Barb and I always got excited to go to "the Munters". Playing games in the pasture (which usually involved mud), trying to catch a wild kitten or two, and when we were big enough, ride on the 3-wheeler aka the Green Machine, were all on the list of fun at the Munters! Sometimes my sister and I would stay there for a long weekend or a week in the summer. This is where we'd have to help make dinner by going out to the field in the front of the house and dig up potatoes to fill the bucket. Rene made the best dumplings and we always had vanilla ice cream with Hersey's syrup for desert (thanks to Kenny)!

Kenny and Rene divorced in my teens, but he remarried an equally kind and generous lady named Darlene. Although we not blood related, I am honored to call these people "family", and they hold a very special place in my heart.

I hope you all had a relaxing Labor Day holiday! Until next time.....

Grandpa Joe

I'm a dreamer - meaning that I remember most if not all of my dreams that I dream while I sleep. Sometimes I can only recall them for the first few moments after waking, but there are some that stick with me for years. I am also what some would title a "spiritual" person. I believe there is a GOD and his son died for our sins. I pray daily and I am not afraid of death as I believe there is a heaven. Yet I couldn't quote one scripture from the Bible and do not attend church every week. I plain and simply don't feel the need and in my mind/heart that is okay.

I also believe in angels.....this is where this story starts:

Grandpa Joe was my (now ex) husband's grandfather on his father's side. I met him a handful of times before his passing, and remember him as a kind soul that was soft spoken, and whom was tall and frail looking. Quite some time after his death, on a ordinary night, I went to sleep and found myself in midst of a dream. In this dream, grandpa Joe appeared to me, he looked very healthy like I had seen in younger photos of him, and he instinctively asked me to dance (he and his wife enjoyed this activity together while he was alive). Usually I have two left feet, but he was a good lead, sweeping me around the room like I was floating to the music-less dance.

He then said: "Tell them I am okay. Tell them I am happy." That was it. The dream ended and I awoke with my heart pounding. Who was I supposed to tell? Who was worried about him? I hesitated at telling anyone quite frankly. They'd think I am crazy, but I ended up telling my husband first, waking him up from his sleep. It was the first and only time he did not mock my dreams (he always thought I read too much into them.). Later I called my mother in law to hear her thoughts.

She was quiet for a moment and then she insisted that I tell Bud (Joe's son) myself. I told him and he too was quiet then finally said: Thank you. Later I guess Bud told Grandma Sarah and she was happy to hear the news and asked him to thank me for her (she later thanked me herself many years later when she traveled to visit us for the holidays).

I still am curious why grandpa Joe's spirit came to me of all people but I am glad he did.

Sweet dreams.